I swore I would never enter a haunted house ever in my life [ except the one at Disney which did scare me a little] and then it happened. My crew got invited to check out Confront Your Fears in Vancouver, WA. At first I was like are you smoking something. There is just no way I’m doing that.
But then I got to talking to my daughter and she really wanted to go. So I took one for the team and here is what happened. I made sure to use the ladies room before we went into the first haunted house but someone on my team didn’t. you’ll have to read on to find out who it was 😉
So here we are in line to the scariest haunted house in the Pacific Northwest, it’s also the largest haunted house ever created in the PNW. I jump when my husband comes through the door unexpected and I wasn’t able to get through the first SAW movie [you remember this, right?, so you can imagine how this is going to work out for me…
But I wasn’t scared yet. I actually felt like I was going to be okay. The outside of the first haunted house, called RELIC looks decent, like it’s not going to be THAT bad. Like I might get through it with my bladder in tact, maybe without crying to. Then the priestess lets us through the gate. She splits us into groups of three. There’s 6 in my group. The first three are my husband, daughter and her friend. My group is my sister [ Three Little Kitchen Monsters], her best friend and myself. Both my sister and her friend are saying how its not going to be scary meanwhile I’m just kind of quietly thinking how I can politely get out of this deal, at the last minute. But I wasn’t even given a chance to check out early. Crystals friend dived right into the tunnels.
We are let through the gate and I can’t get through. There’s a surprise tunnel that requires you to squeeze through in the pitch black. Crystal’s friend get’s half way through [my sister and I are following close behind] and she SCREAMS “oh my god” go back – go back right now, hurry. So I turn around and I’m like trying to run but you can’t really run because its such a tight squeeze plus you can’t see. I’m thinking great, there’s something behind her and its going to get us. Crap!
We got through that part and into the first section of RELIC and I’m just relieved we’re out of the tunnels. Then the real fun begins. There’s demon cannibals chasing us. At one point all three of us are huddling together in a corner not wanting to go forward and one of the demons yells “Emily” you will have to go eventually and then starts laughing.
SERIOUSLY, how does it know my name? Did the PR guy set me up? Maybe I’m just hearing things.
But as we go on my name is called three more times! Okay I am DEFINITELY not crazy they ARE calling my name. Can you say CREEPY much 🙁
We enter BIOHAZARD, which is the second haunted house stationed in the same building. There’s killer zombies EVERYWHERE and I think it’s more scary then the first and they are STILL calling my name out… I later found out that my husband and daughter sold me out when they went through the houses before us!!!
We’re huddled in a corner and and then a zombie jumps out of nowhere behind us and Crystal pees her pants.
Really, had it been behind me I probably would have peed my pants to. don’t worry though because my time was coming soon enough, several doors down I got so scared I fell [ I wasn’t hurt] while running from a zombie…
As we settle down the last hall we think its over. There’s no more zombies. I stood too close to the exit door and one of them pops out of it and is all like “you can’t leave yet, we haven’t had dinner”. He’s drenched in blood, he’s holding a hatchet and a bloody leg or maybe its an arm in the other. Yeah, I’m not going through the EXIT door anytime soon lol.
I don’t want to give too much more away so I’m just going to go through a few key moments from the next two haunted houses. You’re going to want to watch out for the serial killers outside. They got huge REAL chainsaws [ the blades are not on them so they can’t hurt you “physically anyway] and they are running towards you at all angles.
We tripped one out by asking if we could take his photo. I think he’s used to people running from him and instead we stopped and asked if we could take his pic.
Him on the other hand, yeah I kept my distance and a good eye on his foot movement. He just looked mean and he’s a fast mover to so be AWARE of this dude!
You know that look as a parent that says if you take another step towards that candy bowl you will get it. THAT’S the look he was giving us, so yeah we kept our distance 🙂
Then there is the Circus Insane 3D and there are creepy clowns EVERYWHERE and they are too nice so it makes you think something is going to happen. They follow you, they’re jumpy and I think I remember there being blood splattered in places but what I most remember is the mirrors. You’re going to have to see for yourself when you visit.
So we had a great time. If you have avoided this place because you don’t do horror just know if I survived so can you. I encourage you to go down their and Confront Your Fears! You can find the times on their website you. I have direct linked to it so you can see exactly when they are open for business.
You can also find out more about the 4 themes called RELIC, BIOHAZARD, MORBID NIGHTMARES, CIRCUS INSANE 3D HERE
Please do us a favor and like their Facebook page. Even if you aren’t from the Pacific Northwest their page is cool and you will enjoy seeing all the frightful photos they post. you might even see a picture of my crew because they did take our pic 🙂
They also have a Twitter account so if you decide to tweet this review please use these hash tags #Vancouver, #Halloween, #Scream #EmilysFrugalTps, it will help them be seen by more locals.
On October 24th Confront Your Fears is doing a benefit event for the Parks Foundation.
Here is the information direct from their Facebook page
Get spooked for a good cause this Thursday, October 24th for Parks Foundation Night! $5 of every $25 ticket sold on Parks Foundation Night will be a direct donation to The Parks Foundation of Vancouver and Clark County, and will go towards funding the communities’ parks, trails, and recreational programs.